K

nock knock, can I come in?

Sorry mate, it’s one in, one out.

You’re telling me I have to queue each time I come over?

But I’m so sick of staying in as the new going out.

Are you sure you’re ready to return to rubbing up against strangers in a dark and sweaty room? Paying through the nose for a drink that’s mainly ice?

Simply gather five of your most-fun friends and invite them to boogie on down at yours.

I heard Big Sean was into meditation now, what’s he doing with a bar in the cellar?

The domestic discotheque was left by the LA mansion’s previous owner, Slash, of Guns ‘n’ Roses fame, who also installed a DJ booth and a stripper pole.

Oh yes! The rapper remodelled most of the house but kept the club. The sofas were also replaced for, er, hygiene reasons.

Dare I ask about the pole?

The pole remains in situ, but Big Sean claims it’s been thoroughly sanitised since he took ownership.

Very Covid secure, but the decorators should get danger pay.

He also kept the silver, skullshaped wall sconces as a memento. How would one create a home nightclub, hypothetically? Hypothetically you’d need to make sure your bar is well stocked — Big Sean keeps a second fridge just to keep his beverages suitably chilled. And maybe invest in some serious soundproofing.

They do say go hard or go home.

Why not both?

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